The Story of Sir Edward Zifran and his Green Tennies

Long ago and far away, Sir Edward Zifran had won the crown for the
principality of An Tir. (big surprise there LOL)
He was not, at the time, a member of the US civil service, and the border
guards didn't know him.
He had gotten a ride up to his coronation in Lion's Gate from Trixie La
Tush. (yes, that is her society name, check the OP)
Trixie has never had a lot of money, and at that point Edward was a
starving actor with the emphasis on starving.  Someone else was bringing up
his gear, but for whatever reason, Trixie was his ride.  To those who have
met Edward, I don't have to tell you that he has always looked like he
hadn't eaten a decent meal in three weeks. (which is probably true, since I
believe he lives on cigarettes and coffee.) His hair needed to be cut, and
he was dressed in ratty jeans and a shirt with a torn pocket. 
Trixie has had a variety of clunker cars, but as we all had clunker cars
then, that doesn't matter.

Trixie and Eddie got up to the border guard, and they looked into the car,
and decided these people were NOKD That's Not our kind, dear, for the
socially challenged. The guards say Eddie looks suspicious because he was
not wearing any shoes. 
They were massively polite, but adamant that Eddie was not treading
Canadian soil unshod. So it was back to Bellingham.  Eddie had no money,
and Trixie had 5 bucks. (there were no site fees then, we passed the hat to
pay for events. Used to be, if you wanted to put on an event, it was your
nickel.  That wouldn't be practical now). I don't know which store they
went to, KMart or Kresge's or Piggley Wiggely, but it was some such.  The
only pair that fit Eddie, and that they had enough money for, were the lime
green tennis shoes. Rushing back to Coronation with some really green
shoes, Eddie was at last allowed into Canada to be crowned Prince of An
Tir. He wore those shoes steadily after that.  I'm not sure if it was to
make a point, or because he had no money for new shoes, or inertia. 

Trixie received her Red Branch (highest Madronan service award) for buying
Eddie green shoes and getting him to Coronation in the nick of time.

This tale I know to be true, for it was told to me by Trixie La Tush
herself, at one of my Friday night dinners. I hope it has pleased the
gentles here upon the Steps.

Written by my hand this 11th day of July, AS XXXV, being the feast day of
Saint Veronica, at 20 minutes past Matins, I remain,

Branuenn Goch